The 40th Day - A Celebration of Life

Yesterday was the 40th day after Matthew's passing. It is a tradition in the Filipino culture to acknowledge and celebrate this day. Friends and families typically get together and party--talking about the life of those who have left us. It was taken from the Christian tradition and belief that Jesus, when he died and rose after the 3rd day finally went to heaven on the 40th day. It was this day that two of the apostles Mark and Luke saw the heaven "open up" and Jesus rising up to meet his maker.

We have celebrated many '40th day" in our family and needless to say, I have been reminded several times not to forget to celebrate Matthew's. It has been said that the days prior to the 40th day, the soul of the departed remains on earth to "check on the loved ones" and make sure they are all okay before his soul finally goes to heaven.

For most people, the 40th day is the time to "stop grieving officially", although one really doesn't stop grieving. Life, as we normally know it, is now different. And this new 'normal' is something we have to learn to get used to.

This is my time to let Matthew know that we are going to be fine now and we will be moving on -- exactly the way he would have wanted it.

So long, Charlie. We will miss you....

In the shadows and the silence, as you ebbed away
The footprints of your memory danced in our remembrance
The memory of your life shelters us and
hugs us from the heavens you now walk…

Last night, our friends hosted a wonderful "40th celebration" for Matthew. We had a get-together at Ron and Colleen's house. Ron prepared a fantastic spread -- cajun-stuffed chicken, Emeril's special corn recipe and salad made my our salad expert Christel. Rita baked a mouth-watering peach pie. As we sat at the table decorated with Matthew's photos, we enjoyed our meal and shared our stories of Matthew. Everybody agreed that he would have loved the food--and probably gone back for seconds and thirds! We all reminisced about our time spent skiing together with him, dinner parties in Tahoe, the Lakeside Inn, and Dad's birthday parties in San Diego. And we had fun trying to remember the names of the different girlfriends Matthew had introduced to them at one time or another.

Thank you again Ron and Colleen, Herbie and Christel, Josef and Rita, Bob, and Christel's special guests from Germany Petra and Janna. Too bad we didn't have any photos.